Friday, January 18, 2008

Thankful Thursday

I'm borrowing this from you thorny as I have been sitting here tonight thinking about life. Tonight my husband was bold enough to post his thoughts on his blog. I am so proud of him for opening up his heart and sharing his feelings. I know many of you read this and mostly know me as sarcastic and turning everything into a joke. I'm feeling a little different and am turning to my spiritual/thoughtful side.

It's almost one in the morning and I can't sleep. I've been thinking about the incredible things I have been blessed with in this last year. I met Josh on a blind date and thought it would go no where. 5 months later we were engaged. Three months later we are married in the Salt Lake Temple. I know without a doubt us being married in the temple has brought so many blessings to us. I always thought that no man without the patience of a saint could put up with me. I feel so blessed to have Josh by my side. I have never felt so strong to want to get up each day and get out of bed, because I know he is going to be there by my side to hold my hand, through no matter what. He has shown that more than anything I have ever seen, especially this week. Some of you know I battle with depression. I deal with it as best I can. I have had so many other things I battle with, such as anger, mood swings, and many others. Josh has struggled to understand it. Trying to describe what its like to someone who doesn't understand can be quite difficult. I have decided to start seeing a counselor for this. After visiting with the counselor and taking some tests, I have been diagnosed with having A.D.D with some bipolar thrown in there. I know a lot of people might be embarrassed to share this, or even shocked that I would ever post such a thing about myself. But to tell the truth, I am so relieved to know what it is that is wrong with me and now I can deal with it correctly. I can have a better life. I know this might sound silly to most but I am so happy to know that something can finally be done. The biggest blessing came when I called Josh to let him know. When I told him, he at first seemed a little concerned but once he heard how thrilled I was about it (that I actually don't feel like I am crazy), he too became happy that we now can work together to move forward. I am so blessed to know that he doesn't look at me and think, what on earth did I get myself into. He supports me and wants to be there for me in all things. The Lord knows what we need and who we need in our lives, for that I am truly grateful.

8 comments:

Unknown said...

wow that is soo awesome that you were able to get those answers. I am just soo happy for you. It is so awesome that you were able to get a guy like Josh. He seems to be the best thing for you. I know that things will start to get easier to handle for you. :)

Unknown said...

I love reading this. I am so proud of you and happy that you have found some answers which will bring you peace in your life.

I love you.

Tran said...

Boy Oh Boy... And I survived when we lived together.. hehehe.. Traci, you are one of the most incredible, down to earth people I know.. I am thankful to know you even if you are a little crazy.. Just kidding girl about the crazy. I think we are all crazy; for some it's inside, for other's it's outside. I love ya still..

Acacia said...

Sometimes the diagnosis can be such a blessing...you finally know where to go! Great post. Thanks for sharing so much of yourself. Love you!

Kayla said...

Traci, I think you're awesome and I love you. You are such a caring person. I'm glad you found a great guy to marry! Hopefully I can meet him someday. I am happy for you and glad you got some answers.

spaceyhawks said...

thank you so much to all of you! I really am blessed to have such awesome family and friends! Thanks for the support and love!

Nicole Stenzel said...

Hey girlie! I am so happy and proud (as dumb as that might sound) of you for being strong. Seeing thins in a new light I am sure will help you feel so much better about life and yourself. You have so many family members who love you and are here for you. And couldn't be more proud of you at this very moment! Love ya!

craiger said...

Traci it makes my heart dance that you have found someone so wonderful and have found some happiness in your life. You totally deserve it babe! PS, the pink hair totally suits you! Should I go blue? =)