Photoshoot

So this last week I was able to fly up to Spokane to see my family (shout out to Monica...thanks again, it meant a lot to me). It was definitely an interesting week. My sisters basement flooded from all the rain melting the 5 feet of snow they had. Thanks to the property management company that runs my sisters townhouse we were able to enjoy a sleepless night at a local hotel, thanks Gabe ;-) I do have to say the highlight of my trip was watching my sister run across the street with perm rods in her hair to get the maintainence man as the downstairs began to flood. Okay well that wasn't the main highlight, but it sure makes for an awesome memory. Love ya kell!

While I was up there my Aunt Lori, did a photo shoot with my sister and I and our kids. It was such a blast, she is such an amazing photographer. These were my favorite shots. I have some favorites that she took of my sisters kids too, but I thought I would let her post them first if she wants to. I have always always wanted a photo of me and my sister and now I have such an awesome one. Thanks Jell for being one of my best friends. I love you sis!

Holiday Spirits

It's been hard recently and I haven't wanted to get on a blog much. I know I so should be in the holiday spirits and it has been hard to get into. Josh had been pushing me to get a Christmas tree, so I finally gave in and we got one. It's my first Christmas tree that I can say is mine (well and Josh's too). It's more in the fact of I got to pick it out, and I got to decorate it how I wanted, in my whole life, I've never done that. When I was a kid and my mom was alive I would mimic her so I could decorate the tree exactly how she did it the next year. I wanted my tree to be something she would be proud of. Simple and elegant. Now I don't have that much, cuz we are poor, but I feel like I did it. Decorating the tree with my mom is one of the good memories I have.
Josh's family all collects Department 56 Christmas Villages. So I thought it would be good for me to set that up. It took me two hours. I'm leaving that village up til February. There are so many pieces, I had forgotten the effort it takes to put up, strangely I DO remember the effort it takes to take it down (I'll need a prayer for that one ;-) )

Josh is so great, he reminds me everyday how Christmas is his favorite time of year. So along with the tree and the village, I thought that if I listened to Christmas music everyday it would help. It has perked me up a little. I would get frustrated that because we don't have much money this year, I can't buy presents for everyone that I want to, I can't afford to send out cute Christmas cards Then I thought about Christmas shopping and Christmas cards, and I got negative about it. Why do we put ourselves through the craziness of shopping long and hard to find a present, just to have to possibly find a box for it, then nicely wrap that box, just so it can be torn open in 2.3 seconds? Then I thought WHY do we torture ourselves with Christmas cards? Finding the right cards, the torture of getting the family picture, addressing 3 million envelopes, stamping all of them, just so people can look at it and throw the card away.
Thats when I remembered last year and the excitement of my husband when I surprised him with tickets to his favorite music band. Then I thought of my little Ian and next year and the year after that, the excitement I will get to see on his face when he rips open his presents. That thought made it worth it to me.
I thought about how much I love seeing the cute pictures friends send seeing their kids grow, and imaging everyone in the picture going crazy right up until the photographer says, "smile", and then you have this great picture. I love reading what friends have been up to through the year. So what the heck is my problem?
I haven't incorporated my Savior into my Christmas this year. I have been so utterly focused on all my families issues and wondering how things are going to work out, that I have not once thought about Him. I haven't stopped to think what can I do to serve him and others. I have forgotten that I don't have to buy presents in order to "do something nice for someone". Now I know we should be thinking about this always and not just during the Christmas season, but it is kinda pushed on us more this time of year. So I'm going to stop dwelling on the fact that I can't just go out and buy stuff (because that is the easy route), but find other alternatives to helping others, always.

Whenever Josh has seen me a little down, he always tells me, "I don't care about presents or what we do this year for Christmas, all that matters is that I have you and Ian." I still don't know how I got so lucky to have married such a good man. So today I had my brother be our photographer (because once again we are poor, I know... who isn't these days, right?) and took our little family picture. So I could be reminded that it's my little family that matters, and most important putting my Savior first.

Twilight

Take the Quiz and Share Your Results!

You are observant, diplomatic and often aim to please. You are unaware of your attractiveness and despite being uncomfortable with any form of attention, people enjoy your company. You can be impatient, stubborn and headstrong, but you are true to your word and mature for your age, often taking care of your family and enjoying a good book over chatting with girlfriends on the phone.

Who would have thunk it?! Me Bella...I can't wait to see this movie. Monica and April...I'm on countdown!

2 week check up

I know I really should be napping right now because I am so exhausted, but when your mind is going a million miles an hour and you really can't leave at the moment to go do the errands you need to, and you really don't want to clean your house, or do your laundry that has piled up for days.....you sit at the computer and blog.
Yesterday was Ian's two week checkup.
I was a little nervous that his weight wouldn't be back up as he has been throwing up a lot lately. Luckily he has gained his birth weight back along with a few more ounces. His weight was in the 23 percentile. His length was in the 33rd, and his little (yes little) head was in the 27th. According to the doctor, she said that was all perfect and he was right on where he needed to be. I was happy with that. The highlight of the doctors visit was Ian rolling over on the table. I had laid Ian flat on his back and he rolled over onto his side and then onto his tummy. The doctor about flipped out. She kept saying over and over, "you aren't supposed to do that yet". She kept stressing to me that I needed to really watch him now if he is doing that...gee ya think?! Thanks for the warning doc....I'm so in trouble all ready. I really can't complain though, I have been so blessed. Ian is such a great little baby. He really only screams when he has to have his diaper changed or when we give him a bath. Otherwise he is as chill as his daddy (thank the heavens for that one). I just pray that since he looks like me, he will take on his daddy's personality. I am soooooo in trouble if he has just an ounce of my personality. It will be interesting though to watch and see what my mother taught him in heaven. I know she taught him things to do to irritate me. I'm waiting, and scared to death for my payback. ;-)

I love St. George

So there are probably quite a few mothers out there who will read this and think I am psycho, but that's okay, cuz it was worth it. This last weekend I was getting cabin fever very badly, and made the suggestion to Josh we go visit his family down in St. George. Josh had a three day weekend so he was thrilled with the idea. So we packed up our week old baby, and headed 6 hours south to sunny (70 degree weathered) St. George. Ian did so awesome, we stopped once to feed and change him, and he slept the rest of the drive. We got there pretty late friday night as the idea hadn't occured to me until 4pm. The next morning at 6am, Josh and I were up to go yard sale-ing with Josh's dad, and sister Monica. I'd never been on the "hunt" before, so this was an all new experience. We had a great time going all over St. George trying to find a "new find". I got a brand new ice cream maker, just in time for winter ;-) . By about 11am the back of Monica's mini-van was filled with all kinds of great things we found. One of my favorite things about St. George is the magnificent burger joint...In-n-Out. So with Monica and her hubby Danny, and the parents in law, we hit up In-n-Out. I seriously think I could eat there everyday. It always reminds me of growing up in California and eating there as a kid.

Later we went to visit Josh's grandma and got a generation picture. Cute Auntie Monica with Ian
Ian wore himself out hangin around with cousin Dylan. ;-)

That night, Josh, Monica, Danny and I all took a little trip over to Mesquite, NV for some good ol' buffet-ing (yeah it's my new word). It was awesome catching up with Monica and Danny, as we don't see them very often.

Thank you to Mama and Papa Hawks for watching all the kids for us, you are heaven sent!!!!!
Sunday was a great day of napping and football.

Mama Hawks made a fabulous Sunday dinner, and we had a short family home evening.
We had such a blast just hanging out with everyone. Monday we had to get back, we made one last stop to In-n-Out and were on our way home. Ian once again did awesome and we just stopped once for a feeding. I feel so lucky to have such a good little one (I know, I know...for the time being). I got teary leaving knowing I had to one come back to cloudy Ogden, and two leaving the family. I had such a great time with them, I'm gonna start looking at housing down there.

P.S. Alisha if you read this I'm sorry I didn't come see you. Next time I will hopefully know ahead of time and we can get together.

Baby Ian

Well the wait is finally over. Ian Bruce Hawks has finally joined us in this world. Thursday Oct. 30th, I went into the hospital at 7am to be induced. We got things going around 9am, after an hour of contractions I was screamin for the epideral. Thanks Epideral, you are my new best friend!!! By 12:30 I was dilated to a 5. I figured it would be a while before I got to a 10 so I sent my mom and Josh out to get some lunch. When they got back at 1:30 I was dilated to a 9. By 2:30, I was at a 10 and ready to go. At 3:00, the doctor had me start pushing, I pushed for an hour, and at 3:56pm, Ian was here. I had such an awesome nurse. After I was all stitched up and ready to go, they moved me to my room. It was so great to have Josh and my mom there with me. My Mother-in-law, along with my brother Darren came to see me that evening. It truly is an incredible experience. It was so neat to watch Josh's reaction to everything, he is such an amazing daddy already. He loves holding his little boy, and has been waiting on me hand and foot and won't leave the baby's side. I truly couldn't ask for a better husband. I'm just so excited to be home now, especially knowing that I won't have someone coming in my room every few hours to take my vitals, or blood, or ask me something random. I feel so blessed to have such a happy, healthy baby. I know with out a doubt the Lord was watching over our little family throughout this whole experience. Hope you all enjoy the pictures. ;-)

Pain

I'm sitting here at 12:30 in the morning because I can't sleep. Yay for pregnancy...well that and I have pretty much slept on the couch most of the day. Saturday night I threw my back out pretty bad after being on my feet for 8 solid hours. So I spent all of today on the couch, so along with the back pain I got to be lucky enough to feel the baby trying to punch a hole through my stomach. I was literally getting it from both sides. Josh was gone at work, then to church, then to a family gathering, so getting up and down by myself was some serious work. All day all I felt was pain. I was so frustrated that I couldn't do anything. When Josh came home tonight, he told me our neighbor was in the hospital again, she overdosed on her meds. My heart was broken as she had promised us so many times that she wouldn't do that again. Josh called his hometeaching companion and told me they were going over to the hospital to give her a blessing. I needed to go. I threw my pain aside and got up and went to the hospital. She was so happy to see us. It broke my heart as she talked about the good things in life that were going for her, and then relayed the sad reasoning as to why she wanted to end her life. Josh gave her a beautiful blessing, reminding her of the atonement and it's purpose, and of the love of our Heavenly Father. When we got home Josh made the comment about how great it's been that he has been able to give so many blessings recently. As I have sat here I realize how negative I have been, being sad for myself with all this pain I have felt, when I have been given such great blessings. I feel so blessed to have married a man who is worthy to hold the priesthood, and help be an instrument in the hands of the Lord to help others. I'm blessed to have the atonement in my life and know the truthfulness of it. I think of the pain that Jesus suffered in the garden for me, and my pain grows smaller each time I think of my older brother giving his life on the cross. The biggest blessing of all is knowing that there is a God who loves me, and is rooting for me to make it back home to Him. It's sad when trials come upon us, but joyous when we can overcome them by remembering the blessings we have been given.